I'm Nobody
Have you ever seen a rose? It is so delicate, so easily destroyed, yet when it blooms it has the power to completely capture your senses with its beauty and fragrance leaving you in awe.
My name is Rosalba. Not only is it a weird name, which doesn't help when you're already an outcast at school, but it means 'glorious as a rose'. My mum must have been having a joke when she chose that name, there is nothing glorious about me!
Every morning I look in the mirror and I hate it! I have so many spots you could play dot to dot on my face... my nose is really pointy... and I have no boobs at all! I'm fourteen! Boys will never fancy me... mum says there is plenty of time yet...but I want them now. My hair is so curly I can do nothing with it. I try to straighten it but then it just goes all frizzy. I really hate my body.. I have no figure. I hate myself!
I can hear my friends talking about me sometimes...they're supposed to be my friends!
Mum says its not about looks, but you are nobody if you are ugly.
Boys will never fancy you...people will pick on you...you won't get anywhere! I am so fed up!
Right, it's non-uniform day...okay...I won't be a nobody today!
I'm up nice and early so plenty of time. Done a body scrub in the shower. Hmmm, face mask I think...leave on for 10 minutes...okay whilst that's on, what to wear?
That's nice but a bit too girly. I need something...something sexy...yeah my skinny jeans, tight on my butt! Ooo yes that top...mum doesn't like it 'cause it shows off my belly...my belly is one thing I do like though...yes I'll wear it. Boobs...I guess I could put some tissue down my bra...is that really sad? Oh well no one will know. I won't put loads down...erm...that should be okay...not too much...not bad...ooo la la.
Yikes face mask it'll be stuck to my face! Not taken any of the spots away...that's a big one..bit of a squeeze...oops a mark..oh forget it.
Make-up...definately need foundation. Oh that's made a big line...rub it in there..round the edge..that'll do. Eye-shadow...what colour? I guess a light brown..that'll match my hair and it goes with just about anything..not that much! Eye-liner...do a line at the edge too like Jess does..oh my goodness I look like I'm going to war! Mascara..ouch not in my eye! Lippie..gloss.
So much effort to try and make myself slightly decent. Hair. Always a problem. Hat! Perfect solution.
Oh Rose kiss me now...mmmm...mum! Go away don't watch me get ready! I do need to dress like this or how will I ever get a boyfriend? Don't you know anything?
Boots on, I'm ready. Rose, if I do say so myself you are scrumptious...why thank you Danny..kiss you..now..of course.
Okay time to go, stop talking to myself.
People are looking, is that good or bad. Oh they are just jealous either way. Oh gosh there's Danny...what do I do? Erm..head up..smile..not a grin..walk slow..okay look away now..yep he was impressed. He won't have eyes for Carla today.
Break time. So far so good. Lucy said I look nice. Okay so it wasn't a best model award but it's good enough.
Lucy, look who is coming over. Oh I'm starting to sweat..gross! Calm down Rose.
Danny, hi...you look good too. You look dashing, exquisite, handsome, oh so gorgeous!
Yeah sure I'll come with you, bye Luce.
What are we doing here? He's standing rather close, did he just look at my chest? Can he tell?
Oh..is he? Oh my...heart pounding...can't breathe. Wow.
Wow, is that all you could say stupid girl? You've just kissed Danny, the hottest guy in the school and you say wow!
Erm..awkward..smile...saved by the bell.
Stop day dreaming and do my work she says. How am I supposed to concentrate on this? Does she not know that this morning I kissed Danny? Me, miss Nobody!
All that hard work getting ready certainly paid off. You are nobody unless you look good...best make it look like I'm working...today I am somebody...yes Danny I will go out with you..ooo and I have drama with him next lesson...oh no she wants to see my book..wonder if she'll appreciate my 'I love Danny' doodles.
What wonderful dreams!
Uniform today, that means no make-up too. So, will Danny ask me out today? My first boyfriend...I can't believe it. Keep calm...don't say anything stupid...don't make it obvious you've never had a boyfriend before.
Hi Danny. But...what, why did he give me that dirty look? Is he going to Carla? I don't understand, he liked me yesterday.
Lucy, I can't believe...what..no..Luce come on don't be like that.
Mum it's been the worst day of my entire life! Danny ignored me all day just because I don't look like I did yesterday and Lucy isn't talking to me for no good reason...well yeah I did go off with Danny yesterday but that's understandable..don't give me that look. Why can't I be popular and pretty like everyone else...yes I am the only one!
Mum we are talking about me, what do I care about your stupid rose?
Mum showed me her rose bush earlier. Most of them are starting to shrivel up now...there's one though that's taken ages. It's just opened today and it's beautiful. What did mum say? Oh yeah..God makes everything beautiful in its time..whatever that means.
I am nothing, nobody. Mum gave me a big speech about me being beautiful in God's eyes because He made me and something about waiting to find out His purpose for my life and He will make my whole life beautiful eventually like the rose if I let Him. She's a bit of a wierdo.
This has been the worst week ever! I tried to make myself look different but I guess it didn't make me a different person. It just made things worse. What do I do now? I guess I could try..no that's rubbish..well maybe..no! The Bible is for losers...what have I got to lose?
Let's start right at the beginning, Genesis chapter 1. Okay..it says that God made the whole world out of nothing. I guess nothing in the hands of God is pretty powerful.
God...if you can make the whole world out of nothing, can you make something out of me?
My name is Rosalba. It means glorious as a rose.
I don't look as pretty as some people, and I'm not good at some of the things people at school are good at, but this is the way God made me. He loves me just the way I am, it says so in the Bible, that's His Word. It even says that He has a special plan for me.
God made everyone different because the way I figure it the world would be really boring if everyone was the same.
I want to live my life God's way, and now I realise that I am beautiful, I'm beautiful because I am unique. There is only one me. Everyone has their own special talents, mine is writing. I've even had one of my poems in a magazine...
I'm Nobody
I look in the mirror
And what do I see?
Just average and plain
Looking at me.
I've a pointy nose
And uneven teeth,
My clothes cover horror
Of 'What Lies Beneath'!
Does how I look make me
Who I really am?
Does who I am change
When I turn slob to glam?
No, I'm still me
With make-up or not;
Me with each hair colour,
Each weight gain, each spot.
Not much to be said;
Who could possibly
See anything good
In someone like me?
Looking in the mirror
I start to shatter,
Until I remember
Someone thinks I matter.
God says, "I thought of you
Before you'd lived one day.
I loved you then and now
More than words could say.
When I look at you
I see my workmanship."
But God, my life's a waste,
I just can't get a grip!
God says, "I have planned
A future for you
Full of hope, but first you
Must let me make you new."
God, I'm nobody, so
How will you make me something?
"When I made the world,
I started with nothing."
So, I was nothing before, but God made a universe out of nothing...I wonder what God could make of you.
Genesis chapter 1 verses 1-3
'In the beginning God made from nothing the heavens and the earth. The earth was an empty waste and darkness was over the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was moving over the top of the waters. Then God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.'
Psalms chapter 139 verses 13-16
'For You made the parts inside me. You put me together inside my mother.
I will give thanks to You, for the greatness of the way I was made brings fear. Your works are great and my soul knows it very well.
My bones were not hidden from You when I was made in secret and put together with care in the deep part of the earth.
Your eyes saw me before I was put together. And all the days of my life were written in Your book before any of them came to be.'
Jeremiah chapter 29 verse 11
' 'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord, 'plans for well-being and not for trouble, to give you a future and a hope.' '
Ecclesiastes chapter 3 verse11
'He has made everything beautiful in its time.'
